Tuesday, 16 December 2014

Letters to #StopMarriageBill - Registered Post


SEND REGISTERED POST TO:

 

Shri D. V. Sadananda Gowda
Hon’ble Minister

Office of the Minister for Law and Justice
4th Floor, ‘A’ Wing, Shashtri Bhawan,
Rajendra Prasad Road, New Delhi. PIN- 110001

 

AND

 

Shri Narendra Modi,
Hon'ble Prime Minister of India,
Prime Minister's Office,
South Block, Raisina Hill
New Delhi-110011

 

AND

 

Shri Arun Jaitley
Hon'ble Finance Minister
MINISTRY OF FINANCE
NORTH BLOCK, NEW DELHI-110001

 

AND

 

Shri Ravi Shankar Prasad
Hon'ble Minister Department of Telecom
105, 1st Floor
Sanchar Bhawan
20, Ashoka Road,
New Delhi 110001

 

AND

 

Shri Mohan Bhagwat,

Rashtriya Swamsevak Sangh,

Mangalwari,
Nagpur District,
Maharashtra

 

AND

 

Shri Ashok Singhal,

Vishva Hindu Parishad
Sankat Mochan Hanuman Mandir Ashram,
R.K. Puram Sector 6, New Delhi – 110022,
Bharat (India)

 

DRAFT 1:

 

समाचार रिपोर्टों एवं हमारे द्वारा कानून मंत्रालय के विधायी विभाग में फोन पर हुई बातचीत से यह संज्ञान में आया कि भारत सरकार इसी शीतकालीन सत्र में एक नया कानून, विवाह (संशोधन) विधेयक पेश करने जा रही है और इस विधेयक के मसौदे के माध्यम से हिन्दू विवाह अधिनियम, 1955 एवं विशेष विवाह अधिनियम में संशोधन करना चाहती है।

इस पत्र के माध्यम से हम विवाह (संशोधन) विधेयक के लिये अपनाई गयी प्रक्रिया के विरुद्ध कड़ी आपत्ति दर्ज कराना चहते हैं।

हम आपके संज्ञान में यह लाना चाहते हैं कि:

यह वही कानूनी मसौदा है जो पिछली सरकार के कार्यकाल में भी सूर्य के प्रकाश से वंचित रहा था क्योकितब भाजपा को बिलकुल सही एहसास हो गया था कि यह कानून हिंदू परिवारों एवं हिंदू पुरुषों के लिये कितना विनाशकारी है। 

 

 

With this letter, we hereby want to register very serious and strong objection to the process followed for the Introduction of Marriage (Amendment) Bill.

 

As per the latest news reports and as per our phone calls to the Legislative Department of Law Ministry, it is understood that the Government is about to Introduce a new Law, Marriage (Amendment) Bill in this Winter Session. The draft bill is to change Hindu Marriage Act, 1955 and Special Marriage Act.

We wish to bring to your kind notice:

This is the same Draft law which never saw the end of tunnel during previous government as BJP itself realized how disastrous this law was for Hindu Family and Hindu Men.

 

 

DRAFT 2:

 

समाचार रिपोर्टों एवं हमारे द्वारा कानून मंत्रालय के विधायी विभाग में फोन पर हुई बातचीत से यह संज्ञान में आया कि भारत सरकार इसी शीतकालीन सत्र में एक नया कानून, विवाह (संशोधन) विधेयक पेश करने जा रही है और इस विधेयक के मसौदे के माध्यम से हिन्दू विवाह अधिनियम, 1955 एवं विशेष विवाह अधिनियम में संशोधन करना चाहती है।

इस पत्र के माध्यम से हम विवाह (संशोधन) विधेयक के लिये अपनाई गयी प्रक्रिया के विरुद्ध कड़ी आपत्ति दर्ज कराना चहते हैं।

हम आपके संज्ञान में यह लाना चाहते हैं कि:

यह वही कानूनी मसौदा है जिसे समाज के विभिन्न वर्गों में नकार दिया गया था और जिसकी वजह से, गलत कारणों से ध्यान आकर्षित होने के कारण भारत की क्षमताओं के प्रति व्यापक अंतर्राष्ट्रीय संदेह का माहौल बना था।

 

 

With this letter, we hereby want to register very serious and strong objection to the process followed for the Introduction of Marriage (Amendment) Bill.

 

As per the latest news reports and as per our phone calls to the Legislative Department of Law Ministry, it is understood that the Government is about to Introduce a new Law, Marriage (Amendment) Bill in this Winter Session. The draft bill is to change Hindu Marriage Act, 1955 and Special Marriage Act.

We wish to bring to your kind notice:

The Bill was struck down by various segments of society and even ministries and got wide International doubts & wrong attention on India’s capability by proposing such a draconian law.

 

 

DRAFT 3:

 

समाचार रिपोर्टों एवं हमारे द्वारा कानून मंत्रालय के विधायी विभाग में फोन पर हुई बातचीत से यह संज्ञान में आया कि भारत सरकार इसी शीतकालीन सत्र में एक नया कानून, विवाह (संशोधन) विधेयक पेश करने जा रही है और इस विधेयक के मसौदे के माध्यम से हिन्दू विवाह अधिनियम, 1955 एवं विशेष विवाह अधिनियम में संशोधन करना चाहती है।

इस पत्र के माध्यम से हम विवाह (संशोधन) विधेयक के लिये अपनाई गयी प्रक्रिया के विरुद्ध कड़ी आपत्ति दर्ज कराना चहते हैं।

हम आपके संज्ञान में यह लाना चाहते हैं कि:

अंतर्राष्ट्रीय स्तर पर, इसी तरह के कानूनो में संपत्ति विभाजन विशुद्ध रूप से संपत्ति में व्यक्ति के वित्तीय योगदान, विवाह की अवधि और दोनों पक्षों के आचरण के आधार पर ही आधारित होता है। यूपीए सरकार ने कुछ पुरुष-विरोधी संगठनों के दबाव में आकर, जल्दबाजी में एक गलत विधेयक का प्रस्ताव रखा, जिसके उपरान्त भाजपा ही हिंदू पुरुषों के बचाव के लिए आयी थी। 

 

 

With this letter, we hereby want to register very serious and strong objection to the process followed for the Introduction of Marriage (Amendment) Bill.

 

As per the latest news reports and as per our phone calls to the Legislative Department of Law Ministry, it is understood that the Government is about to Introduce a new Law, Marriage (Amendment) Bill in this Winter Session. The draft bill is to change Hindu Marriage Act, 1955 and Special Marriage Act.

We wish to bring to your kind notice:

Internationally, in similar law, Property division are purely on individual’s financial contribution to property and duration of marriage and also base on conduct of both the parties. UPA government came under pressure of few Anti-Male Organizations and proposed a wrong bill in haste and later BJP came to rescue of Hindu Men.

 

 

DRAFT 4:

 

समाचार रिपोर्टों एवं हमारे द्वारा कानून मंत्रालय के विधायी विभाग में फोन पर हुई बातचीत से यह संज्ञान में आया कि भारत सरकार इसी शीतकालीन सत्र में एक नया कानून, विवाह (संशोधन) विधेयक पेश करने जा रही है और इस विधेयक के मसौदे के माध्यम से हिन्दू विवाह अधिनियम, 1955 एवं विशेष विवाह अधिनियम में संशोधन करना चाहती है।

इस पत्र के माध्यम से हम विवाह (संशोधन) विधेयक के लिये अपनाई गयी प्रक्रिया के विरुद्ध कड़ी आपत्ति दर्ज कराना चहते हैं।

हम आपके संज्ञान में यह लाना चाहते हैं कि:

भाजपा को इस विधेयक से अर्थव्यवस्था और परिवार प्रणालीके प्रति खतरों का एहसास हुआ:

a. हिन्दू पुरुष संपत्ति खरीदना बंद कर देंगे और इससे अर्थव्यवस्था को आघात होगा।
b. हिन्दू पुरुष शादी करना बंद कर देंगे जिससे हिन्दू जनसंख्या में गिरावट आयेगी।
c. हिन्दू पुरुष मजबूरन या तो अपनी बहनों से शादी करेंगे या धर्म परिवर्तन करेंगे।
d. पतियों की आत्महत्या की दर जो कि भारत में सर्वाधिक है, और बढ़ेगी। 

 

 

With this letter, we hereby want to register very serious and strong objection to the process followed for the Introduction of Marriage (Amendment) Bill.

 

As per the latest news reports and as per our phone calls to the Legislative Department of Law Ministry, it is understood that the Government is about to Introduce a new Law, Marriage (Amendment) Bill in this Winter Session. The draft bill is to change Hindu Marriage Act, 1955 and Special Marriage Act.

We wish to bring to your kind notice:

BJP realized the threat this Bill posed to both Economy and the Family system as:

a. Hindu Men would stop buying Property and thus Economy will crash.
b. Hindu Men would stop marrying thus reducing the Hindu Population.
c. Hindu Men would be forced to marry their own sisters or convert to other religion.
d. Husband Suicide, which is largest in India, would increase further.

 

 

 

DRAFT 5:

 

समाचार रिपोर्टों एवं हमारे द्वारा कानून मंत्रालय के विधायी विभाग में फोन पर हुई बातचीत से यह संज्ञान में आया कि भारत सरकार इसी शीतकालीन सत्र में एक नया कानून, विवाह (संशोधन) विधेयक पेश करने जा रही है और इस विधेयक के मसौदे के माध्यम से हिन्दू विवाह अधिनियम, 1955 एवं विशेष विवाह अधिनियम में संशोधन करना चाहती है।

इस पत्र के माध्यम से हम विवाह (संशोधन) विधेयक के लिये अपनाई गयी प्रक्रिया के विरुद्ध कड़ी आपत्ति दर्ज कराना चहते हैं।

हम आपके संज्ञान में यह लाना चाहते हैं कि:

पूर्व एवं वर्तमान विधेयक, संवैधानिक रूप से गलत हैं क्योकि उनका मसौदा माननीय उच्चतम न्यायालय के दिशा निर्देशों के बिलकुल अलग है। माननीय उच्चतम न्यायालय ने शादी के असाध्य रुप से टूटने की स्थिति में विवाह विच्छेदन हेतु कानून बनाने के लिये दिशा निर्देश दिये थे ना कि संपत्ति विभाजन के लिये।

 

 

With this letter, we hereby want to register very serious and strong objection to the process followed for the Introduction of Marriage (Amendment) Bill.

 

As per the latest news reports and as per our phone calls to the Legislative Department of Law Ministry, it is understood that the Government is about to Introduce a new Law, Marriage (Amendment) Bill in this Winter Session. The draft bill is to change Hindu Marriage Act, 1955 and Special Marriage Act.

We wish to bring to your kind notice:

Previous & any similar Bill is constitutionally wrong as it’s drafted in absolute non-adherence of Hon’ble Supreme Court Guidelines to draft an only No-Fault Divorce and NOT the Property Division.

 

 

DRAFT 6:

 

समाचार रिपोर्टों एवं हमारे द्वारा कानून मंत्रालय के विधायी विभाग में फोन पर हुई बातचीत से यह संज्ञान में आया कि भारत सरकार इसी शीतकालीन सत्र में एक नया कानून, विवाह (संशोधन) विधेयक पेश करने जा रही है और इस विधेयक के मसौदे के माध्यम से हिन्दू विवाह अधिनियम, 1955 एवं विशेष विवाह अधिनियम में संशोधन करना चाहती है।

इस पत्र के माध्यम से हम विवाह (संशोधन) विधेयक के लिये अपनाई गयी प्रक्रिया के विरुद्ध कड़ी आपत्ति दर्ज कराना चहते हैं।

हम आपके संज्ञान में यह लाना चाहते हैं कि:

पूर्व एवं वर्तमान विधेयक, संवैधानिक रूप से गलत हैं क्योकि यह केवल महिला कल्याणमंत्रालय और राष्ट्रीय महिला आयोग के सुझावों के अनुसार है और पुरुषों की पूर्ण रूप से उपेक्षा करता है, जबकि पुरुष भी विवाह कानूनों में किसी भी परिवर्तन से समान रूप से प्रभावित होते है।

 

 

With this letter, we hereby want to register very serious and strong objection to the process followed for the Introduction of Marriage (Amendment) Bill.

 

As per the latest news reports and as per our phone calls to the Legislative Department of Law Ministry, it is understood that the Government is about to Introduce a new Law, Marriage (Amendment) Bill in this Winter Session. The draft bill is to change Hindu Marriage Act, 1955 and Special Marriage Act.

We wish to bring to your kind notice:

Previous & any similar Bill is constitutionally wrong as it is formed by inputs from Women Development Ministry and National Commission of Women and thus totally ignores Men who are equally effected by any change of Marriage Laws.

 

 

DRAFT 7:

 

समाचार रिपोर्टों एवं हमारे द्वारा कानून मंत्रालय के विधायी विभाग में फोन पर हुई बातचीत से यह संज्ञान में आया कि भारत सरकार इसी शीतकालीन सत्र में एक नया कानून, विवाह (संशोधन) विधेयक पेश करने जा रही है और इस विधेयक के मसौदे के माध्यम से हिन्दू विवाह अधिनियम, 1955 एवं विशेष विवाह अधिनियम में संशोधन करना चाहती है।

इस पत्र के माध्यम से हम विवाह (संशोधन) विधेयक के लिये अपनाई गयी प्रक्रिया के विरुद्ध कड़ी आपत्ति दर्ज कराना चहते हैं।

हम आपके संज्ञान में यह लाना चाहते हैं कि:

पूर्व एवं वर्तमान विधेयक, संवैधानिक रूप से गलत हैं क्योकि यह लिंग-भेद रहित हिन्दू विवाह अधिनियम को पुरुष विरोधी भी बनाता है।

यह चौंकाने वाली बात है कि ऊपर वर्णित वास्तविकताओं के बावजूद, एक प्रभावशाली नेतृत्व में एक दूरदर्शी सरकार ने भी इस विधेयक के लिये पूर्व सरकार द्वारा अपनाया गया मार्ग ही चुन लिया।

 

 

With this letter, we hereby want to register very serious and strong objection to the process followed for the Introduction of Marriage (Amendment) Bill.

 

As per the latest news reports and as per our phone calls to the Legislative Department of Law Ministry, it is understood that the Government is about to Introduce a new Law, Marriage (Amendment) Bill in this Winter Session. The draft bill is to change Hindu Marriage Act, 1955 and Special Marriage Act.

We wish to bring to your kind notice:

Previous & any similar Bill is constitutionally wrong as it makes the current Gender Neutral Hindu Marriage Act as Anti Male too.

Inspite, of all the above realities, it is really SHOCKING to see that the New Visionary Government, under a dynamic leadership, has taken the same route as previous Government for this Bill.

 

 

DRAFT 8:

 

समाचार रिपोर्टों एवं हमारे द्वारा कानून मंत्रालय के विधायी विभाग में फोन पर हुई बातचीत से यह संज्ञान में आया कि भारत सरकार इसी शीतकालीन सत्र में एक नया कानून, विवाह (संशोधन) विधेयक पेश करने जा रही है और इस विधेयक के मसौदे के माध्यम से हिन्दू विवाह अधिनियम, 1955 एवं विशेष विवाह अधिनियम में संशोधन करना चाहती है।

इस पत्र के माध्यम से हम विवाह (संशोधन) विधेयक के लिये अपनाई गयी प्रक्रिया के विरुद्ध कड़ी आपत्ति दर्ज कराना चहते हैं।

हम आपके संज्ञान में यह लाना चाहते हैं कि:

इस पत्र के माध्यम से, विधायी विभाग के वर्त्मान मसौदा तैयार करने में, किये हुए स्पष्ट उल्लंघन भी हम आपके संज्ञान में लाना चाहते हैं। 10 जनवरी 2014 को निर्धारित Pre-Legislative Consultation Policy (PLCP) के अनुसार यह निर्णीत हुआ था कि:

“THE DEPARTMENT / MINISTRY CONCERNED SHOULD PUBLISH / PLACE IN PUBLIC DOMAIN THE DRAFT LEGISLATION OR AT LEAST THE INFORMATION THAT MAY INTER ALIA INCLUDE BRIEF JUSTIFICATION FOR SUCH LEGISLATION, ESSENTIAL ELEMENTS OF THE PROPOSED LEGISLATION, ITS BROAD FINANCIAL IMPLICATIONS, AND AN ESTIMATED ASSESSMENT OF THE IMPACT OF SUCH LEGISLATION ON ENVIRONMENT, FUNDAMENTAL RIGHTS, LIVES AND LIVELIHOODS OF THE CONCERNED / AFFECTED PEOPLE, ETC. SUCH DETAILS MAY BE KEPT IN THE PUBLIC DOMAIN FOR A MINIMUM PERIOD OF THIRTY DAYS FOR BEING PROACTIVELY SHARED WITH THE PUBLIC IN SUCH MANNER AS MAY BE SPECIFIED BY THE DEPARTMENT / MINISTRY CONCERNED.”

हम आपका ध्यान एक अधिसूचना, D.O. No. 11(35) / 2013-L.I., तारीखी 5 फ़रवरी 2014 की ओर आकर्षित करना चाहते है, जो कि यह सुनिश्चित करता है कि मंत्रालय, विधेयक के मसौदे को पब्लिक डोमेन में कम से कम 30 दिनों के लिये प्रकाशित करें और प्रभावित लोगों को सूचित करें। दुर्भाग्यवश, वर्तमान मसौदा स्पष्ट रूप से कैबिनेट सचिव की अध्यक्षता में सचिवों की समिति (CoS) द्वारा निर्धारित इस बहुत ही महत्वपूर्ण प्रावधान / प्रक्रिया का उल्लंघन करता है।

हम यहाँ यह भी निवेदन करना चाहते हैं कि कोई प्रक्रिया अपनाने के बाद यदि विधेयक निरस्त होता है तो वही प्रक्रिया किसी भी समान मसौदे वाले कानून के लिये लागू नहीं कर सकते और इसीलिए एक मसौदा जिससे बड़े पैमाने पर सार्वजनिक चिंताओं / आशंकाओं का जन्म होता हो, उसे लोकतंत्र में निर्धारित संवैधानिक प्रक्रियाओं को तिलांजली देकर आगे नहीं बढ़ाया जा सकता।

 

 

With this letter, we hereby want to register very serious and strong objection to the process followed for the Introduction of Marriage (Amendment) Bill.

 

As per the latest news reports and as per our phone calls to the Legislative Department of Law Ministry, it is understood that the Government is about to Introduce a new Law, Marriage (Amendment) Bill in this Winter Session. The draft bill is to change Hindu Marriage Act, 1955 and Special Marriage Act.

We wish to bring to your kind notice:
With this letter, we also wish to bring to your kind notice the CLEAR VIOLATION that Legislative Department has done while processing the new Draft. As per, Pre-Legislative Consultation Policy (PLCP), decided on 10th January 2014, it was decided, that

“THE DEPARTMENT / MINISTRY CONCERNED SHOULD PUBLISH / PLACE IN PUBLIC DOMAIN THE DRAFT LEGISLATION OR AT LEAST THE INFORMATION THAT MAY INTER ALIA INCLUDE BRIEF JUSTIFICATION FOR SUCH LEGISLATION, ESSENTIAL ELEMENTS OF THE PROPOSED LEGISLATION, ITS BROAD FINANCIAL IMPLICATIONS, AND AN ESTIMATED ASSESSMENT OF THE IMPACT OF SUCH LEGISLATION ON ENVIRONMENT, FUNDAMENTAL RIGHTS, LIVES AND LIVELIHOODS OF THE CONCERNED / AFFECTED PEOPLE, ETC. SUCH DETAILS MAY BE KEPT IN THE PUBLIC DOMAIN FOR A MINIMUM PERIOD OF THIRTY DAYS FOR BEING PROACTIVELY SHARED WITH THE PUBLIC IN SUCH MANNER AS MAY BE SPECIFIED BY THE DEPARTMENT / MINISTRY CONCERNED.”

We bring to your attention to this Notification dated 5th February 2014, D.O. No. 11 (35) / 2013-L.I., which mandates the ministry to Publish the Draft Legislation in Public Domain for ATLEAST 30 days and infact notify the affected people. Unfortunately, the current draft clearly violates this very important procedure laid down by the Committee of Secretaries (CoS) under the Chairmanship of Cabinet Secretary.

We also wish to submit to you that any of such procedures of Lapsed Bill are NOT applicable to similar Draft Legislation and hence the Draft which saw widespread Public concerns / panic, cant be pushed again without having passed the Constitutional Procedures Laid down in a Democracy.

 

 

DRAFT 9:

 

समाचार रिपोर्टों एवं हमारे द्वारा कानून मंत्रालय के विधायी विभाग में फोन पर हुई बातचीत से यह संज्ञान में आया कि भारत सरकार इसी शीतकालीन सत्र में एक नया कानून, विवाह (संशोधन) विधेयक पेश करने जा रही है और इस विधेयक के मसौदे के माध्यम से हिन्दू विवाह अधिनियम, 1955 एवं विशेष विवाह अधिनियम में संशोधन करना चाहती है।

इस पत्र के माध्यम से हम विवाह (संशोधन) विधेयक के लिये अपनाई गयी प्रक्रिया के विरुद्ध कड़ी आपत्ति दर्ज कराना चहते हैं।

हम आपके संज्ञान में यह लाना चाहते हैं कि:

इस पत्र के माध्यम से हम आपसे निवेदन करते हैं कि:

1. विवाह (संशोधन) विधेयक की प्रक्रिया को तत्काल रोकें, क्योंकि यह भारतीय लोकतंत्र में नागरिकों के मौलिक अधिकारों का उल्लंघन करता है।

2. विधेयक के मसौदे पर जनता की राय और प्रतिक्रिया के लिये एक ड्राफ्ट मसौदा प्रकाशित करें।
3. मसौदा तैयार करने की प्रक्रिया में हर पक्ष की हिस्सेदारी होनी चाहिये, अर्थात, अगर पुरुषों की ओर से कोई राष्ट्रीय पुरुष आयोग नहीं है तो महिलाओं की ओर से भी महिला कल्याण मंत्रालय या राष्ट्रीय महिला आयोग को भी भाग लेने की अनुमति नहीं होनी चाहिये।
4. पुरुषों के लिये काम करने वाले संगठनो को साथ लेकर राष्ट्रीय पुरुष आयोगके गठन की प्रक्रिया आरम्भ करें, ताकि कानूनों और कानून बनाने की प्रक्रिया के संदर्भ में, समाज में न्यायसंगत संतुलन वापस आ सके।

5. एक संसदीय समिति का गठन कर मसौदे पर पुनर्विचार करें और देखें कि क्या ऐसे किसी कानून की आवश्यकता है भी, क्या ये माननीय उच्चतम न्यायालय के दिशा निर्देशों के अनुसार है या केवल कुछ इच्छुक पुरुष-विरोधी पार्टियों के दबाव में ही बनाया जा रहा है।
आपके द्वारा मदद व समर्थन, तथा हमारी प्रार्थना अनुसार तत्काल कार्यवाही की अपेक्षा में...

 

 

With this letter, we hereby want to register very serious and strong objection to the process followed for the Introduction of Marriage (Amendment) Bill.

 

As per the latest news reports and as per our phone calls to the Legislative Department of Law Ministry, it is understood that the Government is about to Introduce a new Law, Marriage (Amendment) Bill in this Winter Session. The draft bill is to change Hindu Marriage Act, 1955 and Special Marriage Act.

We wish to bring to your kind notice:

With this Letter, we hereby Pray to you for:
1. Immediately, stop the process of the current Marriage (Amendment) Bill as it violates Fundamental Rights of Citizens in a Democracy.

2. Issue the Draft for Public Opinion and responses on the Draft Bill.

3. Involve Stake holders of similar stature in drafting procedure i.e. if there are no Men’s Rights Authority (like National Commission of Men) who are part of drafting then even Ministry of Women and Child Development and National Commission of Women MUST not be allowed to participate in this procedure.
4. Initiate the process of formation of National Commission of Men involving bodies who have been working for Men for years to bring the equitable balance back into the society in terms of Laws and Law Making process.

5. Initiate a Parliamentary Committee procedure to relook at the Draft and see if there is a Need of such a law and if it is as per the Guidelines of Hon’ble Supreme Court or being formed under pressure of some interested parties.
Looking forward to your kind help and support and immediate action as per the Prayer.

Sunday, 16 November 2014

Press Release - International Men's Day 2014


Tuesday, 28 October 2014

Various 498A advisory from Home Ministry

MINISTRY OF HOME AFFAIRS - IPC 498A ADVISORY

The latest, 2014, Advisory from Ministry of Home Affairs about IPC 498A



2012



2009




Saturday, 11 October 2014

SUICIDE THREATS - WHAT TO DO?

TRAINING SESSION: “I WILL COMMIT SUICIDE” – A THREAT

NOTE: THIS TRAINING IS BASED ON THE MOST COMMON EXPERIENCES AND KNOWLEDGE OF MOST COMMON CASES. SITUATIONS AND SOLUTIONS MAY DIFFER CASE TO CASE. EXPERT’s ADVISE IS OF PARAMOUNT IMPORTANCE.

 


Introduction to SIF (www.saveindianfamily.in)
·         Self Funded NGO, We help victim “Free of Cost”
·         Meetings in 22 Cities
·         Website
·         Helpline: SIF One 08882498498
·         Android App
·         Youtube channel

Previous Sessions:
                RTI
                Howto Handle CAW
                CrPC125 (maintenance)
                Activism
                And many others

Introduction:
Listing few disorders:
·         Narcissistic Personality Disorder
·         Borderline Personality Disorder
·         Dependent Personality Disorder
·         Paranoid Personality Disorder
·         Schizotypal Personality Disorder

Few Scenarios:
·         While Threatening (Recording)
·         If already attempted
·         If committed suicide

Legal:
Ø  IPC 309. Attempt to commit suicide.-- Whoever attempts to commit suicide and does any act towards the commission of such offence, shall be punished with simple imprisonment for a term which may extend to one year 1[ or with fine, or with both.]
Ø  IPC 306. This abetment to suicide law is very selectively applied by police. When a husband commits suicide blaming torture by wife and in-laws, the police refuse to arrest the woman and her parents. However, if a wife commits suicide, the husband and in-laws go to prison for 6 months to 2 years and are presumed guilty until proven innocent. Is the life of a man cheap? Males are the disposable gender.
Ø  IPC 304B. Dowry Death

Background:
-          Thousands of men across India call SIF helplines every week. Half of them have faced threats of suicide from their wives from time to time, if they do not meet her unreasonable Demand’s.
-          These men are scared. These abusive wives refuse to come to a counselor or a psychiatrist. When these young men plead to the parents of women about their suicidal nature, parents do not take it seriously.
-          These men cannot run away from home or file for divorce, fearing that this may prompt her to commit suicide.
-          They suffer mental and physical abuse from possessive, controlling and suspicious wives. In fact, the society laughs at them as “Harassed Husbands” rather than helping the man and making arrangements for counseling of such women.
-          Now, this phenomenon is getting extended to relationships before marriage as well. Being obsessively possessive and controlling is not a sign of love.
-          In short, India is sitting on a ticking time bomb as the society refuses to recognize the issue of threats of suicide inside marriages or in relationships. The society just behaves as if such incidents are rare or wishes that this problem will go away on its own. Then, it recommends revenge on the man if the woman commits suicide.

Why do Wife’s do it?
Narcissistic Personality Disorder
1.       Estimated to affect 1-percent of the adult population
2.       Narcissism is a term commonly used to describe those who seemed more concerned with themselves than with others.
3.       Those with narcissistic personalities are often seen as arrogant, confident, and self-centered, but they do not have the exaggerated or grandiose view of their own abilities that characterizes narcissistic personality disorder

The DSM-IV identifies the following symptoms:
-          An exaggerated sense of one's own abilities and achievements
-          A constant need for attention, affirmation and praise
-          A belief that he or she is unique or "special" and should only associate with other people of the same status
-          Persistent fantasies about attaining success and power
-          Exploiting other people for personal gain
-          A sense of entitlement and expectation of special treatment
-          Feeling envious of others, or believing that others are envious of him or her
-          A lack of empathy for others
-          An official diagnosis can be made by a qualified mental health professional, and requires that the individual exhibit 5 of the 9 symptoms identified in the DSM-IV

Causes of Narcissistic Personality Disorder
While the exact cause is unknown, researchers have identified some factors that may contribute to the disorder. Childhood experiences such as parental overindulgence, excessive praise, unreliable parenting, and a lack of realistic responses are thought to contribute to narcissistic personality disorder.

Borderline Personality Disorder?
According to the National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH), borderline personality disorder is:
"a serious mental illness characterized by pervasive instability in moods, interpersonal relationships, self-image, and behavior. This instability often disrupts family and work life, long-term planning, and the individual's sense of self-identity."

Symptoms of Borderline Personality Disorder
Individuals with borderline personality disorder:
-          Experience a pervasive pattern of unstable interpersonal relationships and have difficulties with moods and self-image. Impulsiveness is also extremely common.
-          Often have intense episodes of anxiety, depression and irritability lasting from a few hours to several days.
-          May direct anger outward in the form of physical aggression, but may also engage in self-destructive behaviors such as drug abuse, eating disorders or suicidal gestures. These behaviors are often intended to manipulate others.
-          Usually have poor self-identity that leads to overly intense relationships with others. These interactions are generally filled with conflict, and the individual with borderline personality will vacillate between idealizing other people and undervaluing them.
-          Tend to become angry and frustrated when other people fail to meet unrealistic expectations.

Paranoid (Suspicious) Personality Disorder
Individuals with paranoid personality disorder typically experience:
-          Chronic and pervasive distrust and suspicion of others.
-          Feelings that they are being lied to, deceived, or exploited by other people.
-          May believe that friends, family, and romantic partners are untrustworthy and unfaithful.
-          Outburst of anger in response to perceived deception.
-          Look for hidden meanings in gestures and conversations.

Schizotypal Personality Disorder
Individuals with schizotypal personality disorder typically experience:
-          Eccentric perceptions, thoughts, and behaviors.
-          "Magical thinking" including saying they can read minds or can foretell the future.
-          Major difficulties in forming relationships.
-          Severe social anxiety that does not diminish with time or familiarity.
-          May talk to themselves, ignore others, or react inappropriately.

Schizophrenia
Borderline personality or bi-polar disease
-          When someone in your life has borderline personality disorder, things can get out of sorts very quickly.
-          One out of every 10 people with BPD dies by their own hand. More, of course, make an attempt. The presence of other conditions like major depression, substance abuse, and eating disorders seems to magnify the likelihood of actual suicide.
-          What do you do, though, in situations like those above, when the suicide threats appear to be an attempt to scare you or make you do something you don't want to do? When this happens, your sympathy and concern may begin to dissolve into anger and resentment. People on the receiving end of these threats feel extremely guilty, confused, and worried.
-          Sometimes your family member will try to make you believe that you are responsible for their misery, and that you will be to blame if he kills himself.

What Not To Do
Don't fight. Don't get into an argument with your BP about whether he or she is serious about wanting to die-even if you're angry and feel like venting. He may attempt suicide simply to prove you wrong
Don't confront your family member and accuse her of manipulating you. Again, this may turn into a power struggle. If she is asking you to do something that is against your better judgment, follow your instincts. However, if the two of you are in a session with a mental health professional, it can be helpful to talk about how this behavior is making you feel.
Don't give in to threats. Be extremely cautious about relenting just to prove that you really care. You and your partner will not be happy in a relationship in which one of you stays because of emotional blackmail. In the long term, your loved one won't be happy in a relationship with someone who doesn't want to be with them. They need to get better before they're ready for a healthy relationship. It is likely that the same scenario will repeat itself again and again.

Seek help for yourself. If you have a history of complying with demands because you believed that suicide was imminent, get professional help for one or the both of you before the next crisis occurs.

Our Demands
1.       Government must bring checks and balances to all laws related to suicide, like abetment to suicide and dowry deaths.
2.       Government must make domestic violence law gender neutral and protect men from wives and girlfriends, who threaten suicide every now and then.
3.       Suicidal women must be forced to undergo counseling and treatment.
4.       All laws must be made gender neutral and both genders must be treated in a fair manner.
5.       The society must take steps to curb misandry. It is challenging, because it is too easy to blame and stereotype all men citing incidents of rape or other crimes against women. Such misandry will vitiate gender relations.
6.       It must be ensured that, men’s rights to liberty, dignity and basic human rights are not snatched away in the name of empowering women


Monday, October 10, 2011
Suicide Threats - A ground for Divorce under Hindu Marriage Act
Posted by Abhinav Shrivastava
Justices P Sathasivam and B S Chauhan
An interesting decision has come along recently by the Supreme Court of India in the case of Pankaj Mahajan v. Dimple @ Kajal Civil Appeal No. 8402 of 2011, case which was concerned with the issue of divorce. Interestingly, after this case, a person will be able to get a divorce decree if other spouse is threatening former of committing suicide. And, the same can be categorised under cruelty. In the instant case, wife-respondent was suffering from schizophrenia which husband-petitioner was not aware of. And, wife was suffering from that particular disease even before marriage, and she, after marriage, on several occasions had threatened her husband that she would commit suicide. Instead, she once tried to end her life but was eventually saved on the timely intervention of her husband. Husband left his parental home in the hope that his wife will abstain from becoming aggressive, but no fruitful result came out. He intimated the same to his mother-in-law and consequently filed a petitioner before the District Court of Amritsar which decreed in favour of husband. But, the order of the district court was reversed by the Punjab and Haryana High Court because of which the matter came before the Supreme Court under civil appeal.

Section 13, of the Hindu Marriage Act, 1955 can be read as – (Only Relevant Portion)

13. Divorce (1) Any marriage solemnised, whether before or after the commencement of this Act, may, on a petition presented by either the husband or the wife, be dissolved by a decree of divorce on the ground that the other party—

(i-a) has, after the solemnisation of the marriage, treated the petitioner with cruelty; or

Husband came to know about the mental condition of his wife only after one month of the marriage, and same was intimated to her father. Reports presented before the court made in clear that wife had undergone treatment but doctors have not certified her to be entirely mentally fit. Supreme Court refuted the reasoning of the High Court where high court had opined that mere mental illness cannot be considered as a sufficient ground for seeking divorce without appreciating the reports of the doctors. All the doctors who submitted their reports before the court called the diseased suffered by the respondent-wife to be incurable.

Reasoning of the Supreme Court while rejecting the opinion of the High Court can be read as follows –

“It is clear from the above that the respondent-wife was not of sound mind and she did not look after the household work rather she used to give threats to commit suicide. She did not even make food for the appellant-husband and he had to arrange the same from outside. Apart from this, she used to embarrass the appellant-husband before his landlord's family and because of her weird behaviour and threats to commit suicide, the appellant-husband was forced to leave the rented accommodation. Madan Lal, the landlord, PW-5 has also highlighted several instances when the respondent-wife used to quarrel with her husband and he had to face humiliation in front of others because of her behaviour. Inasmuch as PW-5 was living in the same house on the ground floor and the appellant-husband and the respondent-wife were living on the first floor, the said witness being the eye-witness to the cruelty meted out by the respondent-wife to the appellant-husband, as he had himself seen the behaviour and the activities of the respondent-wife including humiliation and threats of committing suicide, cannot be thrown out. Under those circumstances, the observation of the High Court that the statement of PW-5 is only hearsay is liable to be rejected.”

Supreme Court further stated that –

“It is well settled that giving repeated threats to commit suicide amounts to cruelty. When such a thing is repeated in the form of sign or gesture, no spouse can live peacefully. In the case on hand, the appellant-husband has placed adequate materials to show that the respondent-wife used to give repeated threats to commit suicide and once even tried to commit suicide by jumping from the terrace. Cruelty postulates a treatment of a spouse with such cruelty as to create reasonable apprehension in his mind that it would be harmful or injurious for him to live with the other party. The acts of the respondent-wife are of such quality or magnitude and consequence as to cause pain, agony and suffering to the appellant-husband which amounted to cruelty in matrimonial law.”

Divorce was consequently granted to the husband.

 

FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS:

QUESTION: My Wife giving me regular threats of committing suicide to me and my family....what to do in this kind of situation? Please help....as i'm going through a terrible mental situation.

REPLY: There is typically an issue behind those threats.  Try to find out the root cause.  She may also need to be taken to a psychiatrist for counseling and evaluation, as soon as possible. This could simply be a medical problem.

There are two ways to seek help by you in your presented facts before us:

One – She is suffering with border line personality and actually such BPD people 1 in 10 do commit suicide if not immediately helped.

A bench of Justices P Sathasivam and B S Chauhan said: "Giving repeated threats to commit suicide amounts to cruelty. When such a thing is repeated in the form of sign or gesture, no spouse can live peacefully."
Majority of the problems lie under your "One" above, a sort of borderline personality or bi-polar disease.  A proper evaluation by psychiatrist and efforts to treat such issue have two outcomes.  1. She has been cured and 2. She has not been cured.

If she has been cured, go celebrate and live happily ever after.  If she has not been cured, then you have medical evidence for such issue.  

Based on media reports and alleged suicide note of Jiah Khan, 22-year old Suraj Pancholi was arrested and sent to jail for committing the crime of abatement to suicide. We have to understand that such laws do not exist in other countries in the world. Is suicide a solution to break-ups or separation? Jiah Khan attempted suicide 8 months ago and nothing was done to ensure that she does not repeat it. It is absurd to assume that all human relations will remain everlasting in this age of modernity. Finally, women are portrayed as victims, and men as abusers.

Suraj Pancholi is not alone. Thousands of men across India call SIF helplines every week. Half of them have faced threats of suicide from their wives from time to time, if they do not meet her unreasonable demands.

These men are scared. These abusive wives refuse to come to a counselor or a psychiatrist. When these young men plead to the parents of women about their suicidal nature, parents do not take it seriously. These men cannot run away from home or file for divorce, fearing that this may prompt her to commit suicide. They suffer mental and physical abuse from possessive, controlling and suspicious wives. In fact, the society laughs at them as “Harassed Husbands” rather than helping the man and making arrangements for counseling of such women. Now, this phenomenon is getting extended to relationships before marriage as well. Being obsessively possessive and controlling is not a sign of love.

In short, India is sitting on a ticking time bomb as the society refuses to recognize the issue of threats of suicide inside marriages or in relationships. The society just behaves as if such incidents are rare or wishes that this problem will go away on its own. Then, it recommends revenge on the man if the woman commits suicide. Home Ministry (NCRB) data says, 24% of all suicides in India are due to Family Reasons and 3.4% due to failed love affairs