Sunday, 30 March 2014



Do you remember the advertisement that used to come on Television few years back about Helmet?
It said, "MARZI HAI AAPKI, AAKHIR SIR HAI AAPKA" (It's your wish, afterall, it's your head)
Some background first to evaluate these situations:
Rahul (assumed Husband) is on his way from office to his home. His wife, Priya (assumed wife) had gone to her parent's house. She had told Rahul that she was missing her parents so Rahul had dropped her in the morning to her parent's place in the morning.
Rahul's phone starts ringing. As a law abiding man, he stops his car at a nearby stopping area onside and picks the phone. Call is coming from an unknown number.
Call is coming from a CAW Cell (Crime Against Women Cell).
He picks the phone. The call is to inform him that Priya has lodged a complaint against him, his parents, his brother who is suffering from Cancer and getting treated in Singapore (specialisation). The call is to ask him to come for a meeting tomorrow.
Rahul goes through emotion burst, goes through an immediate shatter of his happiness, his very existence. He keeps weeping, crying for 15 minutes in his car and while crying, scenes of his parents behind bar runs in front of him, a scene of police standing with handcuffs infront of the hospital bed of his brother runs through. He is scared, he is sobbing, crying, weeping but keeps wiping his tear as he doesnt want that bypassers should notice his tears.
He picks his phone again after cleaning his wet face (wet of tears) with a tissue & controls his emotions and call his father's number. His father picks the phone and says, "Khotte de puttar (laughing), kyon khush nahi rakh sakta tu Priya ko itna ki wo apne mayeke khush jaaye, miss ker ke na jaaye" (You idiot, why cant you keep Priya so happy that she goes to her parent's home smiling and not because she is missing her parents.).
Rahul controls himself but a slight weep goes through the mobile network and reaches his father's ear-drum. Father asks, "Is everything OK son? Dont worry. We are with you because we know you are a good man. Priya & all of us love you a lot and all of us are there with you."
Rahul is not able to control his emotions now. He disconnects the phone and starts crying again. His heart is not able to bear this pain that his parents still think that Priya loves him. His heart is filled with pain and agony that Priya has filed a complaint when eveyone lived with her like a queen along with 5 house helps who respected Priya as the new Controller of the house.
Rahul switches off his phone as he knows that his father will call him anytime to check what has happened to his son and why did he weep? He gets out of his car and starts crossing the road half mindedly as his brain has stopped working for past 30 minutes. He keeps walking across the busy highway, cars honking, people screaming at him "abe marega kya?" (Hey, Do you want to kill yourself?) But Rahul keeps walking across, his senses are not working. His luck walks with him till half of the road. He reaches the divider. He steps on the divider, suddenly his next step is on a poor stray dog who is sleeping on the road divider. The dog wakes up crying and the cry is so loud that it wakes up senses of Rahul too. He suddenly shakes himself and finds himself standing in middle of the road. He is blackedout on how and why is he in middle of that road. He quickly returns to his car (this time with care of not getting hit by speeding traffic) and sits inside and then gradually starts recollecting what happened with him in last 23 minutes. Last he remembers is his father telling him over phone, "Son we are with you".
These last words act as immediate powerdose to him. His glucose levels get back to normal, his brain starts working, his senses are back and he is thinking now.
He switches on his phone. He goes to Internet and searches on google if he can get some help.
After some search, he finds a phone number and quickly dials it.
After few rings, the call is picked and NOW:
Person on Phone (PoP): Hi, this is Men Service Center (Centers who give paid service are service centers).
Rahul: Hi, I am Rahul, I am calling from Thane. I have a problem and I need help.
PoP: We dont provide help, we provide service. It is for a nominal fee.
Rahul: See, I have just got a call from CAW cell.
PoP: We understand Rahul. We are a Staff and would log a call and give you a ticket number. You can then goto our website,, enter this ticket number and get 20% discount on our package.
Rahul: I need some help NOW.
PoP: Dont worry sir, thats why we are here. Your ticket would reach to Uncle Sam and they would call you back soon. Thanks for calling us.
Rahul: When will I get the call?
PoP: The moment you select a package on our website and become our member.
Rahul quickly logs into the website, and selects the cheapest package (nominal??? huh?, Rahul thinks), pays from his Credit Card and waits.
He gets an email confirmation & sms confirmation on his mobile.
He waits and great, he gets a call within few hours of depositing his fee. By then, he has reached Suraj's place (his friend) as he cant show his these tears to anyone else except Suraj who is his childhood friend.
He gets a call from another unknown number, but this time, its the Uncle Sam (US) from Men Service Center.
US: Hi ummmmm (searching on his screen for the name but still makes a mistake) Rohit.
Rahul: My name is not Rohit. It's Rahul but anyways.
US: Ohh Rahul, thanks for becoming our member. We are a Company who are there to give you services at the time you need. Thanks a lot for filing our membership form.
Rahul: See, I am in a problem.
US: All that is fine Rahul but we havent received your payment. Your credit card payment has not hit our account yet.
Rahul: See, I have made the transaction and I got SMS for my credit card for deduction of X,000 Rupees for your Bronze Package.
US: Ohh thats fine. We are a Men Service Center and see, you cant trust all men because as per our experience, lot of men take our services and dont pay later so we have to be careful.
Rahul: If you want, I can forward the SMS I got to you to prove my bonafide.
US: It's OK, we can talk as we run on trust.
Rahul: See, I am calling from Thane.
US: Ohh, thats a nice city. I visited it when my feminist mother was hiding when Police came to arrest all of us in #498A. She, like any feminist woman, hide there while me and my father were arrested. I would never forgive her.
Rahul: Thats not nice to talk about your mother. Anyways, it is about my problem.
US: Ohh yes, I got carried away.
Rahul: By the way, what is 498A?
US: Ohh, you dont know? See, this is why we need Men's Rights. Because of idiots like you men suffer who stood up to support my feminist mother. You have become our member and you dont know #498A? Is this idiocity expected from a learned person who knows Internet? You are good for nothing.
Rahul: (brushing all abuse aside) Can you help me?
US: We dont help, we give service. But tell me the problem.
Rahul: I have got a call from CAW Cell and
US (interrupts): Ohh, before we proceed, since you claim to have paid, we have our centers in all across India.
Rahul: You mean, I can come there to meet you now?
US: Yes, it is a Men service center and we are spread across India with 3 centers.
Rahul: Did you say 3? Is there one in Thane?
US: No, but we are not far. We have got one in Bhopal.
Rahul: Can you help me over phone.
US (laughs): Rohit, I told you, we dont help, we provide service.
Rahul: It's Rahul Uncle Sam.
US: Ohh Sorry. So you were saying you have got a call from CAW cell. Dont worry, CAW cell have no power. Dont worry. Attend the first date and come over to Bhopal over the weekend. You can play carom, chat with other husbands, go through law books, check your facebook too and all that for free.
Rahul: So what do you suggest that I do tomorrow at CAW cell?
US: Rahul, you are too scared. We are there to give service always. You can call me anytime and I will give you service.
Rahul: Uncle Sam, I am on call now with you, provide me service.
US: But Rahul, you payment is still to come. See, still, I trusted you and gave you some service. And on CAW, I told you, they dont have any powers. Read about 498A on our website and if your wife wants to settle the case, as long as it is within 5 Lakhs, it is OK, settle it as finally you need to settle the case.
Rahul: Is this what you tell me after paying X,000 to you?
US: No, we will teach you to fight. To stand up for Men's Rights. Men hate Men stronger but even then we trust you and talking to you inspite of the payment not being there.
Rahul: Do I need to go there with a lawyer?
US: Goshh!! Another Free service Mangina. See, you would need a lawyer but dont worry, with you X,000 nominal fee to us, we will reduce your lawyer expense by atleast 80%. So see, X,000 and we save your lakhs. It is not about money, but isnt it cool?
Rahul: By the way, did you abuse me?
US: I am telling you with folded hands that I am the Father of Men's Rights Movement and I have done so much for the movement.
Rahul: Who says you are the father?
US (angry now): You blood sucking Mangina, go to Internet and READ MY POSTS. IT IS ALL OVER WRITTEN, I AM THE FATHER OF MEN'S RIGHTS MOVEMENT OF INDIA.
And US keeps the phone down as Rahul and Suraj keep looking at each other thinking, what just happened?
Counsellor on Phone (CoP): Hi. Who is this?
Rahul: Hi, this is Rahul. May I know whom I am talking to? And are you from SAVE Indian Family Movement?
CoP: Yes I am, and my name is Svarup Sahukar (SS)
Rahul: Svarup, my name is Rahul and I am calling from Thane. I need help.
SS: No issues Rahul. I was about to sleep, but dont worry, tell me. You sound worried. Is all OK brother?
Rahul: Sorry Svarup for calling so late. I will call you tomorrow morning.
SS: No problem Rahul. I dont want you to not sleep tonight or to sleep with tension brother. I have spent such nights and dont want it to happen to you.
Rahul: Thanks Svarup. Issue is, my wife has filed a complaint with CAW cell and I have got a call just now.
SS: Ohh, thats sad. Reminds me my days but no issues. I am there with you. Where are you calling from?
Rahul: I am calling from Thane. Where are you from?
SS: I am from Delhi but no worries, I know the process for Maharashtra.
Rahul: Isnt there someone else whom I can speak to or meet in Thane?
SS: Our nearest helpline would be either Mumbai or Nagpur or Pune but since you are connected to me now, let me try and help you.
Rahul: Ok. Question is what should I do now? Should I get a lawyer?
SS: Getting a lawyer is not an emergency for now. Tomorrow you have to goto CAW cell. First thing, dont worry. CAW cell has reconciliatory powers and they would take you and your wife through that process. There are few variations but dont worry. Mentally prepare yourself for variations. Just stick to the truth and if there is any issue / abuse you face there, please file a complaint immediately. And the commonest fear, dont worry, CAW cell can not file FIR. FIR is filed by the Police Station. Get a copy of the complaint first.
Rahul: Ohh, that gives me some strength.
SS: I hope, I was able to give you some peace.
Rahul: Yes surely.
SS: Because, brother, what has happened, has happened. All of us can work to make situations, life and process easier for us. That what we are here for.
Rahul (reluctantly): Any charges?
SS: Do you charge your brother to help him with you experience?
Rahul: Can I call you tomorrow if I am stuck at CAW cell?
SS: Yes, you can call me anytime brother. Once you are free, do try and see if you can help others too.
Rahul: How?
SS: Since you are asking now, I am telling you else my request to you is not to think about us for now, think about yourself brother. You can join backbone of our movement, SaveIndianFamily Yahoogroup for no charge help anytime from thousands of husbands like you and me across the globe and even join our Open Park, no charge weekly meetings. Details are on
Now, nothing more for now Rahul, focus for tomorrow and dont worry, you have already won your battle when you are mentally prepared brother.
Phone is disconnected and Suraj tells Rahul. Darr mat bhai, dekhenge jo hoga (Dont be afraid brother, we will see what happens - together).

Tuesday, 25 March 2014

Positively SIF


The basic purpose of SIF is that our Brothers should be happy.
These are some of the advices we commonly offer:
  1. Yes, we advise people not to marry 498A abusing girls and their families.
  2. We also advise that you must not take back a 498A abusing wife.
  3. We advise you not to pay money or settle false cases and support our members to fight cases on merit. We suggest that you should pay what the court orders, rather than paying to settle the case.
  4. We do not advise you to file for divorce.
  5. Every case is different; hence every case will have its own aims. We suggest a cautious approach and the decision to take a risk is in your hands. Do we disqualify anyone from SIF movement if they do eventually burn their hands and take a risk?
Answer is NO.
However, we do share our utter disappointment with those who have paid money in their first marriage, marry another 498A abusing woman and then come seeking our help. We believe that by paying off the first 498A abusing woman, you have sown the seeds for further abuse to another man.
The question then is why do we advise such strategies? The reason is that there are various risk factors secondary to gender biased laws in India like 498A, DV act, CRPC125 and anti-rape law to name a few.
In SIF we have followed these basic fundamental tenets since the inception of our movement. Anyone can confirm this by going through the very old messages on our yahoo group.
SIF aims to provide happiness to its family members. Our Mantra to success lies behind a basic formula: Stress = Uncertainty x Importance. Simple mathematics rule; make any of them zero and your stress will automatically become zero.
Most of our members take our suggestions, fight and win their cases. However there are many others who are not so courageous to fight such false cases. We do not judge them and support them like any other member of the SIF movement. We Do expect them Not to pay any money to get rid of the 498A abusing woman, since by not paying at least they are not allowing her to spoil another mans’ life. This is the least we can do for the society. We hold such men in high regard since they are doing whatever they can for the betterment of the society.
Lets discuss the point of taking a 498A abusing wife back. It is indeed a risk, especially in the first 7 years of your marriage since in many cases Supreme Court has convicted people under 304B on mere evidence that there was a 498A filed earlier. Some people do end up taking that risk of taking 498A abusing wife without proper action planning. Such men eventually tend to suffer and indirectly create problems for others unknowingly. If you do wish to take that risk, then at least observe her behaviour while separated for 6 to 8 months and then cautiously consider taking her back. Taking a 498A abusing woman can be considered an interim strategy that will help you in the long run to win any cases later on. 
In many instances false 498A cases are not filed by wives, but by in-laws. In many other cases, the disputes are not between husband and wife but actually are family disputes. In family disputes we advise patience since with time situations tend to change for example after any of the troubling in-laws’ passes away. We have also seen family disputes happening when it was a love marriage and in-laws were not supportive of the marriage; and eventually became trouble makers later. Hence we say, every case is unique and needs careful assessment.
Bottom line is that you know your case best, you know your ex best, you are the best judge to measure the risk that you can take, and you are in the best position to plan any consequences of the risks/actions taken today, i.e. what actions would you take if tomorrow the problem starts again.
We suggest that your plan should have an immediate, an interim and a long term goal. As a basic litmus test for such 498A abusing wives, we encourage people to get a rented accommodation, invite her to stay with you, observe her behaviour closely and if problems are visible, collect evidence of her mis-deeds and leave that home.
Sadly some people misunderstand and worse still, attempt to malign SIF movement. Such people have never understood how SIF has withstood the test of time and managed to help lakhs of people in India and abroad. These people make false/fabricated lies on Facebook and other social/public networking sites. Such acts are strongly condemned.
If anyone has doubts and is unable to understand SIF ideology, I invite them for discussions to help them understand who we are and how we have learnt from our success and failures over the years. In SIF we learn from each other’s successes and failures and grow strong.
A member is only shunned from SIF when he/she abuses SIF movement, undertakes anti-SIF activities, charges money in the name of membership/consultancy fees for the free advice we offer,  and violates basic guidelines as set by SIF. Those indulging in such anti-SIF activities will not have their numbers flashed as our helplines/members on our websites.
If SIF wanted to provide a paid service, we could have offered service using LAW firms. Law firms are always happy to help/advice by charging money as many of our members already know. SIF was created for a different purpose.
We are a self-supported movement run by volunteers. We are not a money charging service provider.
Lakhs of NGOs, Law and Consultancy firms undertake activities by charging money. If there is an addition of 1 or 2 in the list, it does not make any difference to SIF.
SIF movement has not forced anyone to join the movement and neither does it stop anyone from leaving. SIFs ideology has been its backbone for survival over the years and if anything, it has got strong.
Love it or hate it, but SIFs ideology remains what it was when it was created.
The problems Indian men and families face are very complex due to biased, unfair laws and misandrous society. Hence there is no fixed formula of success and I repeat every case is different.  You are the best judge of your risks and we can advise you best according to the risk you have measured. Our job is to help you assess the risk, think through with you about next steps and to spread awareness so that nobody else gets trapped like you. Please contact us through telephone or yahoo group. Ideally meet us in person at our weekly meetings that take place all across the country.
Finally, SIF wants all its members and other men in the country to be happy. Please learn from others, how they have measured risks, how they have taken cautious approach, how they have won cases and ensured happiness in their lives. If you are happy, we at SIF are happy J
As conceptualized & worded by Swarup Sarkar & Dr. Dinesh Khanna (Marital Justice, UK)

Tuesday, 11 March 2014

Press Release - #SIF #FoundationDay


English Press Release

Hindi Press Release


Download the E-Magazine from here.

Save Indian Family


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Monday, 10 March 2014



The Journey of Save Indian Family Movement from 2005 - 2014:

Here, we bring to you the moments when on 9th March, 2014 (Sunday), Save Indian Family (SIF) Movement saw it's 10th birthday being celebrated in New Delhi.
The event was organized by Hridaya - Nest of Family Harmony (Regd. NGO), Kolkata & Save Family Foundation (Regd. NGO), Delhi to mark 10th Year of beginning of Men's Rights in totality in India.
Save Indian Family - The name which he become synonymous of Men's Rights, Family Rights, Custody Rights for Indian Men. Indian Men includes NRI & Indian Men.
Below are few images that will take you through that great Journey and at the end, 3 videos of unedited recording of the whole event (3 videos).
Facebook Event of this BIG Day has the complete timeline from preparation till post event details and Press Releases:

The videos (3 Parts) for the complete event (Unedited version):